When Santa Becomes The Ultimate Killing Machine, He Doesn’t Care Who’s Been Naughty or Nice!

By Renae Richardson

For those whose appetites are darker and taste more foreboding than festive, Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022) is the perfect festive flick.

Unraveling the Package

The aesthetic of this holiday slasher is vintage. It is a throwback to a bygone era, a nod to 80’s horror features. Summarily it is a movie steeped in tropes making it extremely predictable. However, there is something to be said about the rawness, the in your face, and unabashed content. Those who prefer the explicit and ribald situations will find this film fills that criterion. Lovers of hard rock will revel in the metal soundtrack that accentuates and emphasizes the animalistic nature of the piece. When considering the whole, Christmas Bloody Christmas screams bold unapologetic slasher.

The Contents

As is expected there is no complexity in plot; what you see is what you get. A good portion of the film’s first quarter focuses on the building of less-than-romantic tensions. Both the lead character Tori (Riley Dandy) and her employee Robbie Reynolds (Sam Delich) play a coquettish game. As the watcher follows the advancement of passions between the two, its twin flame rage emerges in the embodiment of Santa. Then in true to slasher formula, we watch as the promiscuous couple is the first to get the ax. From there the race is on and the bloody games begin.

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Caricature of the Big Guy: Robo Santa

A robotic mall store Santa is the centerpiece. But while deemed cybernetic, to the untrained eye, not much looks mechanical about him. This is except for the mechanistic way he pursues his victims. It’s like watching the Terminator being reframed as a Christmas tale. There is no term that better describes this Santa than killing machine. One thing the programmers neglected to build into its central processing unit is compassion and goodwill.

Papa Noel is relentless and has no apparent Achilles heel. He single-handedly levels a town. The only person who stands between him and total annihilation is record shop owner Tori. And she rises to the status of heroine of horror. Tori becomes the embodiment of both 80’s heroines Sarah Conner and Ripley merged into one frame. If the ultimate survivor had an image beside its definition, it would bear her likeness.

Final Synopsis

This film contains raunchy adult-oriented material, and the dialogue is full of innuendos. It is as much a lust fest as it is a slash fest and this pairs well with the element of predictability. One primary teller of where the store headed is surely the fact that the newest Santa on the block is comprised of military-grade tech. That is never a good sign. And despite the origins of its purpose, it is placed in a mall.

So all elements considered this feature stands out for what it is, a movie made simply for pure entertainment, nothing more. But if blood is what you’re after, blood is what you get. With this film, Christmas is truly sanguineous. Let it not be said that Christmas Bloody Christmas does not live up to its name. Although not a movie that will win acclaim, it definitely works for its niche market.

Those still interested in a terrifying festive flick Christmas Bloody Christmas is now streaming on Shudder.