There are Many Great Heroes in The World. These Guys Aren't Them
By Raul Pardo
There are many great heroes in the world of comics, these guys aren’t those, these are the worst of them. In a world of epic action and superpowers, these are some of the lackluster few who don’t make the cut. This list will cover some such heroes who are just not good at their job. Either not having the powers to be helpful, or someone you really don’t want saving you.
10. Matter-Eater Lad
A member of DC’s Legion of Super-Heroes, Matter-Eater Lad’s powers are exactly as they sound, he eats things. Specifically he can devour any form of matter at high speeds, solids, liquids or gas. The high speed only comes when he eats, nothing more than that. This consumption ability has little to do with stopping villains or fighting threats.
This ability isn’t entirely useless though, as his ability allows him to process and analyze what he’s eaten. Identifying chemicals, poisons and other facts about the things he eats. An ability that can help you in entrapped situations behind bars or under rubble. As far as the other heroes on our list goes, this one can at least save you if you find yourself trapped. Others down further on this list are less than useful.
9. Dazzler
While perhaps having a very pretty and vibrant power, Marvel’s X-Men Dazzler doesn’t have much going for her other than that. The ability to make sounds into images could make for a decent distraction but also just as much as an open target. This power has never shown in the comics to be an offensive ability and as such makes it pretty useless as far as saving people
Though not without its uses there are rare instances where light can be used to make laser beams and blinding flares, but those abilities are very limited to the sound around her. Her skills are limited to the sounds around her so she is rarely reliable with her using her powers.
8. Color Kid
Another one coming from DC’s Legion of Super-Heroes, comes Color Kid. A very lackluster power of simply changing the colors of objects. That’s all. His abilities are not offensive, and its most practical use is stationary camouflage. This ability does not have anything going for it and can just be seen as a neat trick.
Its camouflage ability can maybe be used to get people out of specific situations but it’s not going to stop a big villain or stop a robbery. Another ability that simply is used to make things more flashy or trigger confusion which can possibly see some use, but overall, nothing too special.
7. Stone Boy
The Legion of Super-Heroes is filled with these lackluster heroes with not the best abilities. In the world of DC there are many strong and dangerous villains, as such the ability to turn your body into stone is not that good to go up against them. Not to mention when Stone Boy does so, he is rendered immobile. So the ability turns yourself into just a statue.
Against lowly thugs and criminals of the like, it can be used to maybe block a hit or two but does not work out well against threats that can crush boulders with little effort. The real stunt of this power is the mobility of it.
6. Doorman
Marvel gives us this strange hero with a power that seems cool at first, but specifics really bring it down. A member of the Great Lakes Avengers, Doorman has the power to teleport people, but only through himself into another room adjacent to him. His is nothing but a living door that only works on one side. Good to get entry into someplace but that’s all the power is good for.
In the world of Marvel this power is outshone by many others. A hero with no physical powers who’d be more of a help to criminals than heroes. He might be good to help you escape a place or enter a room you’ve locked yourself out of, but still not a good hero to call help for.
5. Hind-Sight Lad
It’s actually hard to tell if this “hero” even has powers at all. And while not offensive, this character doesn’t actually help people. Marvel’s Hind-Sight Lad has the incredible ability to pick out useful and great tactics AFTER a battle.An annoying voice that simply says what you could have done better.
This character tries his best to provide sample scenarios that would have been useful in the moment but chooses to tell it when it’s all over. While very intelligent, Carlton LaFroyge’s obnoxious personality makes him more of an annoyance than any real help. Not a hero you want coming to your rescue.
4. Arm-Fall-Off-Boy
Once again from the League of Super-Heroes, we have Arm-Fall-Off-Boy. The power that allows the user the ability to remove their arms. This ability was so lame and bad that it made him the first reject of the League in the comics. His power makes it so he is never without a weapon, but for a power that allows you to remove both your arms, you will only really have one arm swing at people.
Funnily enough he did get a live action adaptation as a character in James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad. Where his uselessness was showcased in him dying horribly using his powers. A funny gimmick but the powers are nothing that really help you in any situation.
3. Friendly Fire
A member of DC’s Section Eight, a group of unstable and dangerous individuals, we have a hero with a very good power, but cannot use it without hurting everyone around him. Friendly Fire can shoot large and powerful energy blasts, but as the name states, he has a tendency to hurt his own allies. A dangerous power put into the hands of an incapable person.
As far as a worst hero goes, while you have someone with a very strong power, you never want someone who can also potentially aim it at you. A power that was so poorly used by its wielder, he shot off his own head with it. Definitely not a good hero for anyone.
2. Six Pack
The member and leader of DC’s Section Eight. Six Pack aka Sidney Speck, is a horrendous drunk who boasts about heroics. And that is pretty much it. His drinking is his super power. Possessing the great ability to beat someone over the head with a bottle. A gross, fat and filthy covered man who’s attitude makes him the worst kind of hero. While it seems he has the best of intentions in mind, he leads nothing but a team of the most destructive and least effective heroes.
Unless you’re looking to get rescued by a drunk with a bottle, don’t expect to get much but a horrible stink and a sight you never want to see again in your life. But he’s not even the worst member of the team of Section 8.
1. Dogwelder
Here he is, unsurprisingly, a member of Section 8, Dogwelder. A silent, masked man who wields a blow torch and uses it to weld dead dogs to criminals faces. While it may be effective in traumatizing the victim, this is also traumatizing to anyone watching this psychopath do it. The scariest part about this man is apparently his haunted equipment, which makes anyone who wears it, the next Dogwelder and gains this strange obsession with dog welding.
There’s nothing more to say about why you would never want to see this man come to your rescue. This walking horror movie is by far the worst hero in this group and of this list.
And that’s our list of the worst super heroes! What do you think of our picks? Any heroes that we missed who could be worse than these?
Section 8 (2022) Official Trailer
You Might Also Be Interested In:
Source: Dead Talk Live
Contact Information:
Email: news@deadtalknews.com
Phone: +1 (646) 397-2874
Dead Talk Live is simultaneously streamed to: YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Twitch, Twitter, Vimeo, and LinkedIn
Shop official Dead Talk Live Merchandise at our Online Store
Author
| Raul Pardo is a Full Sail University graduate with an MFA in Creative Writing. He plans to continue his writing career in different forms of modern media, including books, films, and more. |
