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Home > You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah (2023): A Review

You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah (2023): A Review

"You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah"

An Eye-Opening Middle School Coming of Age Film

There are definitely not a lot of coming-of-age movies about a Jewish girl having her bat mitzvah, so Netflix’s You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah was certainly a big move in the media world. This movie was especially groundbreaking as it was another hit by Adam Sandler, but with his daughters Sunny and Sadie. This movie is based on Fiona Rosenbloom’s novel with the same title. Adam Sandler and his daughters’ comedic tones made a movie that could’ve been culture-heavy but was extremely entertaining.

Following two best friends as they wait for the arrival of their bat mitzvahs, which officially mark their entering of womanhood, Stacy and Lydia seem to have everything in place until their friendship hits a roadblock due to boy drama. The two are determined to learn what’s really important in their lives with their journey into womanhood. Like most middle schoolers, the two overcome social status, fake friends, and boys.

Captivating Storyline 

This film was extremely enjoyable due to its captivating and complex characters, who were extremely relatable and funny. Even though the girls were fighting over a boy, which is a repeated theme in the media, the scenes did not feel overdone or repetitive, and they felt unique to the storyline. The pacing didn’t feel rushed or too slow, as every scene felt intentional in driving the plot forward. It was very interesting watching this family have to go to every classmate’s bat/bar mitzvah and see how extravagant some of them really were. Even when a lot of the classmates didn’t know or could even be mad at the person having the party, the parents still forced them to go. Like Ronnie, Lydia’s older sister had to go to every single party despite the fact that she must’ve done this already and had now made it to high school. This was certainly one of Adam Sandler’s best movies.

When Stacy and Lydia go to Kym Chang Cohen’s house. There’s an interesting moment where the girls talk about crushes, and the dialogue hints at one or more girls being bisexual. It seemed unnecessary like they were just trying to force inclusiveness in there without making it a character trait. It wasn’t as if the girl was looking for a girlfriend or talking about a first kiss with a girl. It was just run over to say she isn’t straight, but it did not seem to have a true purpose. It seemed like an attempt not to be canceled for not having any LGBTQ+ characters rather than an inclusive aspect of characters.

Other than that scene, all the sections seemed to work consistently and come back later on if they were only touched upon. For example, Stacy’s other friends find out they were left out by Stacy and Lydia or Lydia’s walkout video mix-up. Both of these themes were touched upon earlier in the movie and then brought in later to further the plot. There were even underlying themes like how when daughters get older, they want to spend less and less time with their parents because they want to be with their friends or their parents are just uncool to kids. Either way, everything had a purpose to make the big blow-up and ending scene that much more effective.

Underrated Favorites 

The characters were extremely relatable, as most people have probably experienced a fight with their best friend. Furthermore, the Rabbis were very funny as they worked hard to make Hebrew School not as boring to the Gen Z students. Stacy and Lydia put a boy and social status over their friends, and they grew from the experience, learning what was most important was their friendship. 

Matteo is the most underrated character and is definitely taken advantage of, especially by Stacy. He always seems to be there and even asks her how she’s doing multiple times. On the other hand, Andy was extremely overrated. He is loved by every girl in school, no matter how much he switches up and takes advantage of them. He really has no personality and isn’t even nice. His parents have threatened to take his Xbox away to get him to visit his grandma. However, it’s extremely true that most middle school girls go after looks and social status rather than substance.

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah

Stacy’s sister Ronnie and her best friend spend every bat/bar mitzvah watching different horror movies because they have hit peak boredom attending every single one of Stacy’s classmates’ celebrations. The separate plot line of the two boys trying to watch the movies with them was very comedic and had the audience rooting for two side characters. Ronnie’s acting seemed a little worse than the rest of the cast, but it could have just been the size of her role. It was also interesting to see that Adam Sandler put his daughters and wife in the show, but his wife didn’t play his wife in the show. She played Lydia’s mother while Idina Menzel played Stacy’s mom/Adam Sandler’s wife. That could’ve been purely based on fitting into the role, and Idina Menzel is a great actress, but it did seem a little weird. Hearing Adam Sandler yell at his daughter in the show was very interesting because when he plays a dad, he usually doesn’t scream at his kids; he has often had hearts-to-hearts with his children. It seemed to be for comedic purposes so Lydia’s mom could hear the yelling when she arrived, but it still felt out of character for him. Overall, the acting was pretty good, and everything played out nicely; very little was forced.

Lights Camera Bat Mitzvah

The soundtrack situation was a little weird. The movie would start playing a song for five seconds and then cut it, so it kind of seemed unnecessary. At one point, they even changed the song, but there was a single beat of silence that seemed accidental. However, the music choices were definitely Generation Z favorites, so at least as much as how they played was weird, the songs were enjoyable. Audience members might have been ready to sing along, but then the song didn’t even play a single word most of the time. The reveal of each bat/bar mitzvah was very effective, though. The camera showed each piece of the room little by little and then ended by showing the entire space, a big party. This made the reveal easier to enjoy because the audience was waiting for the full picture.

Surely, the budget for this movie is quite large, so both Lydia’s party and Stacy’s dream party look like a movie star’s big bash. The way the camera turns allows the light to sparkle off the glitter and decorations, which is surprising for a bat mitzvah. Young kids always have big ideas without thinking of how to pay for them, but this is especially true for Gen Z kids. A major part of the music world at the mitzvah is from a town favorite, DJ Schmuley. It’s surprising that Gen Z kids were so willing to have this older man, who’s wearing a wig, play their parties. He is the man to get. If someone doesn’t get him, they’re just uncool, which is crazy because it would probably be expected that Gen Z would go more toward a younger performer. The side plot with the DJ and a kid requesting “Don’t Stop Believing” was truly humorous since none of the kids wanted it, and it seemed like a jab to millennials.

Lasting Effect 

This movie was one for the books and should be watched at least once. The age range is more for 13-16-year-olds as those having their sweet sixteen can certainly relate to a lot of the themes. However, I think young adults might also feel some connections to the main characters. There might be a disconnect because of the age difference. Overall, this movie was one of the best coming-of-age movies on streaming services today. The movie’s ending was definitely a tear-jerker, hitting hard about growing up and friends changing. Furthermore, anyone who’s ever had a fight with their best friend knows how isolating it feels, and if they are lucky enough to makeup, they know it’s worth more than any gift or the biggest party of their life.

Catch You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah on Netflix now!

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah (2023) Official Netflix Trailer

Source: Dead Talk Live

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Author | Posts

Sammie is an undergraduate student at Arcadia University where she is majoring in English and creative writing and minoring in media and communications. Sammie enjoys writing about her favorite movies and tv shows and hopes to have a career in the media industry.

Elke Simmons' writing portfolio includes contributions to The Laredo Morning Times, Walt Disney World Eyes and Ears, Extinction Rebellion (XR) News/Blog, and Dead Talk News.