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Home > Fictional Characters Who Can Pull Off Santa’s Job

Fictional Characters Who Can Pull Off Santa’s Job

Santa

What if Santa Needed a Substitute?

The Christmas season has always been one of the most exciting holidays of the year. It’s time to hang those lights, wrap those presents, sip some hot cocoa by the fire, and carol it out with friends and family. And, of course, who can forget the big man himself, Santa Claus, the ultimate gift giver of Christmas? But what if Mr. Claus decided to take the holiday off and indulge in some time alone? Or what if he was too sick for this season? Could there be someone else who can successfully cover his shift?

They would need to be lightning fast to deliver all the presents worldwide in just one night. They would also need to attend to other duties like managing the North Pole and the elves, eating the milk and cookies, and checking the naughty and nice list. This is no simple feat and could easily sound like an impossible task. But there are some fictional characters with extraordinary abilities that could potentially accomplish these daunting tasks. Here are the top five candidates that can pull off Santa’s job.

5. Dr. Strange 

Dr. Strange

Dr. Stephen Strange has no small list of impressive feats. In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, he was able to use the time stone to trap Dormammu–a cosmic being of infinite power and destroyer of worlds–in an endless time loop. He could also use it to reverse, freeze, and forward time around him, allowing events or objects to restore their original state before destruction occurs. Not only that but in Avengers Infinity War, he used it to see 14,000,605 possible futures of Thanos’s plan. Without the stone, he is pretty formidable. The Cloak of Levitations gives him the ability to fly or handicap enemies. He can also manifest magic shields and weapons, manipulate the mirror dimension, separate a being’s astral form from its physical form, dream walk, and so much more. But probably his most recognizable ability is to travel long distances by opening portals with a sling ring. 

With all that in mind, Dr. Strange would be a great candidate to take on Big Red’s job with no sweat. He could easily teleport to all the countries in the world and use small portals to deliver gifts to each house. He doesn’t have to worry about delivering all the presents on time, as he can travel back in time and keep delivering them until he’s done. As for the milk and cookies, he may not have the stomach for them, but he can take them and use the time stone to forward time until they turn to dust (no pun intended). Since he was able to use the timestone to view billions of futures, likely, he can also use it to look into the past of billions of children to see how they fare on the list. Lastly, everyone knows Santa likes to deliver his presents in style. Strange has shown the ability to change into all kinds of clothes in a matter of seconds. So he can use his magic to whip up his own fabulous Santa robes. 

4. The Flash

The Flash 

Santa isn’t the only jolly man in a red suit that can travel great distances in mere seconds. The Flash (Barry Allen) is a popular DC superhero who can run extremely fast and may very well be faster than Mr. Claus himself. In the comics, Barry Allen can run a whopping 13 trillion times the speed of light. In the television show, Grant Gustin’s Flash still has an impressive range at roughly 670.6 million mph. The speed of light is about 671 million mph, so while the DCEU’s version of The Flash is not nearly as fast as his comic counterpart, he is still a great candidate. Either way, this phenomenal speed gives Barry abilities like phasing through physical matter, creating tornado and lightning blasts, and even traveling through time. 

So, how exactly do his abilities match up to Santa’s duties? Given his top speed, Barry can easily deliver all the gifts in one night, so there’s no problem there. But what about carrying all the gifts? Well, there have been many different portrayals of Santa’s sleigh throughout the years, like from movies such as The Polar Express, where the sleigh carries a humongous toy sack, and The Santa Claus, where Santa is able to carry a small sack himself. For the sake of practicality here, Barry is more than likely going to carry the small magical toy sack that can have an infinite amount of items. In terms of entering the houses, he can phase through the walls without setting off any alarms. Now, what about the milk and cookies? Well, along with his incredible speed, The Flash also has an extremely fast metabolism. So, it makes sense that he can consume thousands of milk and cookies without a problem. And considering all the running he has to do in one night, it doesn’t sound so bad for an energy source. Last is checking the naughty and nice list. In the show, there have been several moments where Barry reads through pages of material in seconds. So, it is pretty safe to say that he would be able to read through a list containing 8 billion names in roughly 5-10 minutes. 

3. The Doctor (Doctor Who

Dr. Who

The Doctor is a timelord that can travel the reaches of time and space. With his/her trusty Tardis, he/she can go wherever and whenever he/she wants. Timelords also have the ability to regenerate into a new version of themselves whenever they die. With each new regeneration also comes a new face and personality. So far, there has been a grand total of 14 Doctors, including David Tenant’s surprising return as the 14th Doctor. But despite each Doctor being their own person, each version still possesses the same abilities. So, it doesn’t really matter which Doctor is chosen to replace Santa as they all are equally as capable of doing the task at hand. But how exactly would he/she do the job?

As mentioned earlier, the Doctor uses the Tardis, a vehicle disguised as a telephone box, to travel through time and space. The inside of the Tardis is also bigger than the outside, which can fit an infinite amount of space. The Tardis is also faster than the speed of light. Given these abilities, the Doctor would have little to no trouble delivering Santa’s presents. He/she can use the Tardis to store all of the gifts and fly to each neighborhood. And while the Doctor themself isn’t fast, they can still travel back in time as many times as they need to in order to deliver all the presents in one night. But how can they enter someone’s home without being detected? 

While the Tardis has shown the ability to teleport in a house, it makes a rather loud entrance upon arrival. But that is no problem, as the Doctor also carries a sonic screwdriver around at all times. This allows him/her to open any locked door so long as it isn’t made of wood. Regarding the milk and cookies, they don’t exactly have the stomach for them, but they can probably store them in the Tardis and deliver them to other planets later. As for the naughty and nice list, this may be the one thing they wouldn’t be able to do.

2. Slenderman

Slenderman 

Believe it or not, Slenderman would make an excellent candidate for a new Santa Claus. While hostile in nature, his supernatural abilities allow him to perform tasks that no regular human could do and may just fit the job requirements. These abilities include producing spectral tentacle-like limbs, teleportation, stealth, mind manipulation, and immortality. And who knows? Maybe Slendy needs a break from scaring and could pull a Jack Skellington and treat people for a change. But how could his abilities be used for the job?

The first issue is tackling the types of gifts to deliver. Being a nightmarish creature isn’t exactly helpful when it comes to delivering heartwarming gifts. Even with his teleportation powers, it’s not likely that he would be able to go to the nearest toy store and choose the right toys. So, the best option would be to scare the elves into making the best toys, and if they don’t comply, they could be threatened with their life. Using his teleportation powers, he can then travel to each home and deliver the gifts. Since he is unable to speak, he would also do an excellent job at remaining undetected. 

But what about delivering all the gifts in time? Well, he doesn’t have any time powers or superhuman speed, but that can be remedied with his mind manipulation ability. Even if he wasn’t able to deliver all the gifts in time, he could still enter someone’s house while they were awake, deliver the gifts, and make any witness forget he was ever there. Regarding the milk and cookies, it’s uncertain whether or not he can consume all of them. So, he’ll probably just have to teleport most of it away. Last is the naughty and nice list. Slenderman tends to be hostile to any human he comes in contact with, so it’s unlikely that he would have an excellent judge of character. But maybe the elves can help him and make a small list for each neighborhood he visits. From there, it would just be a matter of teleporting from the North Pole to each neighborhood on multiple occasions. 

1. Kirby

Kirby 

They say one of the most well-known parts about Santa Claus is his jolly spirit. And if none of these candidates take the cake, then there is one more who is the best fit yet. Kirby is a pink alien blob from Planet Popstar and belongs to a species called Puffs. Kirby is incredibly cheerful in nature but also possesses quite extraordinary abilities. Some of these include consuming an infinite amount of matter, traveling faster than the speed of light using the Warp Star, a malleable body, cloning abilities, and surviving the cold vacuum of space. With these abilities, he is the best substitute for Santa yet. 

With his Warp Star, he has no need for a sleigh or reindeer, as it allows him to travel faster than the speed of light. This vehicle’s top speed is roughly 435,494,879,999,818,624 times the speed of light, meaning that it can travel to any point in the universe within 20 seconds. This covers the gift delivery, but what about carrying the gifts? As mentioned before, Kirby can consume an infinite amount of matter, as his stomach is essentially its own universe. This means he has no need for a gift sack as he can consume all the gifts for storage and then spit them out when he needs to. 

He also wouldn’t have any trouble consuming all the milk and cookies in the world. Thanks to his malleable body, he can also squeeze into tight spaces like a chimney to enter each house. But what about leaving the houses and checking the lists? Well, Kirby has the ability to swallow Santa Claus himself, spit him out, and then gain Santa’s magical ability to fly through chimneys and see who is naughty and nice. And to top it all off, he would also get his own pair of Santa swag to show off.

The Flash (2023) Official Warner Bros Pictures Trailer

Source: Dead Talk Live

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Marc Agbayani's favorite genres to write are fantasy, science fiction, horror, action,n and mystery. His inspiration for writing stems from his love of various forms of pop culture, such as the film series Star Wars by George Lucas and the video game series The Legend of Zelda by Shigeru Miyamoto. In his free time, he enjoys writing, reading, listening to music, going to the gym, and hosting game nights with friends

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I am an aspiring author living and working out of Honolulu, Hawaii. I received my bachelor's degree in Art History at Westmont College and then pursued a master's in Museum Studies at the University of Hawaii. I am currently working on a few novels, and am thankful for the opportunity to expand my creative writing voice at Dead Talk Live.