Dating Furniture Has Never Been So Fun
Date Everything! is a diamond in the rough within the dating simulator genre. Created by Sassy Chap Games and published by Team17, the game combines a wonderfully goofy atmosphere with genuine moments to create a truly unique experience. Fall in love with a trash can, become mortal enemies with a light switch, or befriend every door in the house. The story is in the hands of the player.
A Refreshing Take on a Classic Genre
The game begins with the player character starting their first day at the company Valvidian, and instantly having their job replaced with AI. It isn’t all bad news, though, since a mysterious package arrives containing the “dateviators.” These magical glasses allow the player to D.A.T.E. everything! An acronym for “Directly Acknowledging a Thing’s Existence.” With the new tech, the player is, well, tasked with dating everything. And by everything, the developers truly mean everything. A bobby pin, a toilet, a fireplace, or even overwhelming existential dread? Every single item in the house has its own unique character, with its own personality and story. There are three options, or “endings,” you can get with each dateable: love, friendship, or hate.
This is where Date Everything! separates itself from others in a genre that has become monotonous. The game isn’t forcing the player into romance; they are free to choose who they like, or don’t. It is refreshing to have such a wide selection of player choices, especially because of how important it ends up being. With one hundred dateable characters (and maybe some secrets), the possibilities are almost overwhelming.
Voice Acting Excellence
Speaking of the one hundred characters, unbelievably, they are all fully voice-acted. With huge voice actors like Felicia Day (Supernatural, Fallout), Laura Bailey (The Last of Us Part II, Dragon Ball Z), Robbie Daymond (Marvel’s Spider-Man [2017], Persona 5 Royal), and around one hundred more who are also insanely talented. The dialogue is charming and just the right amount of cheesy to connect with, and with 1.2 million words and 70,000 voice lines, there is something for everyone. The voice acting matches each character perfectly, along with the art and its style. There are over 11,000 hand-drawn images within the game, different unlockable outfits for each dateable, and a unique music theme for all one hundred dateables as well.
The developers, Sassy Chap Games, were created by voice actors Ray Chase, Max Mittelman, Robbie Daymond, and Amanda Hufford. Date Everything! being the studio’s first game, it is almost impossible to believe due to its sheer scope. Their experience and passion shine through every pixel in the game, and it is honestly surprising that it isn’t an option to date each and every one.
A Serious but Silly Sandbox
The tone of the game is incredibly silly, almost too silly at times. The door is named Dorian, the bobby pin is named Bobby Pinn, obviously, a lot of the game’s comedy is incredibly on the nose. It doesn’t ever feel like it overstays its welcome, though. If one character gets annoying, just become their sworn enemy and move on to the next. That’s the beauty of the Date Everything!’s sandbox. However, this can lead to the story becoming a little jarring with how the tone switches at times between characters. The player can transition from resolving a serious domestic dispute as a therapist to hearing a furniture-related pun for the next 10 minutes. The freedom the game allows is also one of its biggest hindrances. This freedom can create a sense of pressure with the amount of choices that are available to the player right out of the gate. There isn’t a correct option, and sometimes it is easy to get lost or forget what each dateable asked you to do. This can cause some relationships to get a little messy, and what choices to make become harder to discern. These qualities add a sense of realism to the game’s cartoony and over-the-top world, and even with their negatives, can also help the player think over their choices more thoroughly. These are only small issues that thankfully are completely overshadowed by the polish that the rest of the game achieves.
The more serious and heartfelt moments feel earned after building a connection with each character past their puns. The house also changes and evolves with the players’ budding relationships, making the cramped setting feel completely alive and different each day. The game includes a content-aware mode as well that lets the player skip past triggering topics without penalizing them in any way. Again, the game allows for choice without the fear of missing out, creating an experience that truly feels unique with each playthrough.
Grab Some Dateviators
It is difficult to describe the magic that Date Everything! has in every facet of the game without experiencing it firsthand. It combines the typical tropes of dating visual novels and flips them on their head to create a captivating one-of-a-kind adventure. With grand quests, heartwarming stories, and some of the most endearingly corny dialogue, it is hard not to end up with the fall head-over-heels in love ending with the game itself. It might be hard to look at household objects the same way ever again, but it is worth it.
Purchase Date Everything! on Steam, XBOX, PlayStation, or Nintendo Switch today!
Date Everything! (2025) Official Team 17 Launch Trailer
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Author
Elke Simmons' writing portfolio includes contributions to The Laredo Morning Times, Walt Disney World Eyes and Ears, Extinction Rebellion (XR) News/Blog, and Dead Talk News.